highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
