Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
