Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
