Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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