If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize