Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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