The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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