I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
