Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
