Acid is not a monday night drug
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
