Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Damn victory sex feels great
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
