is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
