Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
