She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize