Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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