I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
