I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
