i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
