Don't you send me to vm
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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