great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
