While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
