I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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