I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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