Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
