Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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