I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
