JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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