Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
