here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
