I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
