I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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