All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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