Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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