Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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