Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
