she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
