margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
