shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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