Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
