Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
