i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
