I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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