i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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