just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize