My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
