I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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