I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
