his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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