I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
