well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
