So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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